Thursday, December 05, 2013

pain

pain is inevitable.. suffering is optional

- Haruki Murakami on running, ( and an old Buddhist saying)

It had been a time of suffering.. suffering that left me flabbergasted because it was so unexpected. How come no one had complained as much as I did? I had flailed around and asked that question a hundred times, finding no answers. Because everyone validated the pain, ( everyone who had been there at least). But no one seemed to suffer.

And it was when I happened on that quote, in the context of running, that I realized with a shock, I don't remember the suffering of the runs. When I look back on my runs, most of them with far inadequate practice, and completed with ( I have to remind myself of this) much pain, the overwhelming feeling is one of giddy happiness, joy. There was much pain, on trying, I can remember it, but the suffering was almost absent.

So there it is, while the blinkers were on for the runs, they don't work now. And unfortunately its not a switch I seem to be able to toggle just like that. It helps to explain perhaps why no one complains much. They have the blinkers. I wish I had them too. But things are what they are.. and I think I will just have to be myself. Quite a long way off from the lofty ideal of the brave me I wanted to be. 

3 comments:

Shaguna said...

Well...don;t think too much is all that I can say :)
Loads of love, strength and happiness for you my friend!

Shaguna said...

Well you think too much I'd say. Sometimes it's good to just sit back ...
Loads of love, strength, bleassings and happiness for you my friend.

Tess said...

thanks my friend!