Monday, January 12, 2009

stupid patriarchal forms.

what is this whole thing about srimati / kumari thing ? the mrs/ miss thing? Why is my marital status supposed to be such a big deal, that it needs to be advertised even in my name? Isn't it time we stopped printing forms with those ridiculous options?

As if the whole surnames debate wasn't bad enough. no, i will NOT change surnames, i will not use mrs and srimati, i will NOT cover myself from head to toe with symbols of being owned by some man. I will not.

Early morning, stupid gratuity form to fill and i'm already pissed off. Whatever you do, you can't escape the patriarchal society.

aargh.

6 comments:

raindrops said...

I know the feeling... we have been having this same 'ownership' discussion in great detail lately. Not surprising I guess, considering we are trying to decide a name for the baby, which includes the name and the surname. And that comes with a package of problems - my biggest grudge being why should my child not have my surname if a surname is indeed so important. And having decided long ago not to change my own surname, I am now more annoyed than ever - why should my child and me not have the same family name? Who can possibly be more 'family' to him/her than me?

Urgh! the system sucks beyond measure - there goes this day...

Tess said...

sigh yes, I know , we've had the same discussion. And yes, my point exactly, you're the one doing the whole shitload of work where the child is concerned, and then the patriarchy ensures that someone else stamps in the "made in india" tag.

Forget surname, in case of one of my friends, even the first name ended up being decided by some extended family from the in laws side. I could see that she wasn't too happy about the name, but then, how much do you fight?

raindrops said...

Oh yes, it does boil down to 'how much to fight' doesn't it? So life becomes a series of battles picked and battles ignored/dropped. The thing is, how much can you ignore? And for how long?

Guruprasad Kini (Guru) said...

>> Whatever you do, you can't escape the patriarchal society.
I say, why try? :P (I guess that brands me as an MCP in your books)...
Did you have to fill in the forms that go: Daughter of/Wife of/Property of...??? One should have a word with Ms.Renuka Chaudhary about such forms really.

Amit Kumar said...

Valid points all but i guess it is misdirected in context of forms with Daughter of/Wife of...
My hypothesis
Honestly these forms are designed in such a fashion due lack of a unique identifier Social security number. Come to think of it, once we have PAN/SSN kind of number- these forms will disappear too.
:)

Okie dont cringe, i am bored and between responding to these messages and watching Sen Clinton's testimony for Secy of State on CSPAN, i chose the former.

Tess said...

@raindrops - so true. Actually I guess there's no pt in getting higher bp over this one, its just another battle among life's many, the fight , or not, with a queuebreaker. The fight, or not, with the overcharging conductor. The fight, or not, with the work shirker. The fight, or not, with the MIL. some things are just wrong, but still one can't fight each one all the time...

@guru - why would you say don't fight? you of all ppl, ever ready to take a war to the enemy camp :P. Is it because you're on the lucky side this time? sometimes you fight, sometimes you don't.
As for your second sentence, what is your point exactly?

@amit - perhaps. I guess you are taking guru's pt further. But thats not what I'm not talking about in my scribbled rant. anyway for that my answer is replace with gaurdian's name/ spouse's name. I was glad to see that the last form i filled asked for marriage date and spouse's name, NOT husbands name.

I'm talking about the mr/mrs/miss which simply needs replacing with mr/ms and i really don't see ANY arguments why the mrs/miss is needed.